Get some fuck you money

(This article, as the title ‘get some fuck you money’ indicates, is a little impolite and in your face. If that sort of thing offends you then it’s probably best to read my other money musings that are far more polite.)

Many financial planners rightfully trumpet something called the financial freedom figure.

Having enough money to live freely without needing to work.

That’s a great idea and something you should plan towards but perhaps more importantly, and from a practical point of view, it’s important to just get yourself some fuck you money.

By this I mean enough money tucked away to tide you over for a year or two for the following life situations that happen all too often.

You’re fired!

Your company announces wholesale redundancies, or you completely fuck up at work and get sacked.

Or you simply have had enough. I’m sure you’ve heard of, or can relate to this situation.

You’re in some corporate job you’ve been completely bored with for years now and finally you have one of those days where you completely disagree with the decisions being taken by the company, or some other reason causes you to say enough is enough.

If you have some money tucked away, it makes it so much easier to simply say fuck you and head for the nearest exit. (Note: I wouldn’t suggest you actually say this!)

You only live once right? Why waste it working in a job you don’t want to do, for a company whose values or service you don’t believe in?

Now if you don’t have any money tucked away you either have to swallow your pride and self esteem and carry on with the daily grind, or leaving will threaten your families finances; neither of which is a positive situation.

Your spouse is soon to be your ex

Unfortunately, this happens all too often.

What happens when you come home one night and find yourself locked out of your own house?

What happens when your partner has drained your joint bank account?

Do you have any money tucked away that you and only you have access to?

Forget the unrealistic romance and marketing of marriage, when thinking about financial planning you need to be pragmatic about these things, and the facts are that 42% of marriages in the UK fail.

That means if you are married, you are almost as likely to become a divorcee than you are to live happily ever after until death do us part.

If you were to invest with a 42% chance of failure, surely you would tuck away some money outside of that investment, just in case?

Getting divorced means that you are going to be financially fucked anyway, so you may as well ensure that the interim years between separation and divorce can be lived in a relative amount of comfort.

Forget about financial freedom and retirement dreams of cruises, golf and endless leisure.

A sensible financial plan for many would be to simply ensure they have enough fuck you money to be able to go and stay in a hotel or at least afford to rent a poky 1-bed flat if your marriage falls apart.

The alternative of having the indignity of owning half a house, but having to go and crash on family or friends’ couch is a rather shit situation to find yourself in, and it’s entirely preventable.

The government gets too big for its boots

This has been repeated throughout history. The powers that be decide that despite taxing 40% of your labour and wealth, they now decide they can solve all of your own and the country’s problems by taxing 50% of your labour and wealth.

Good luck with that logic.

It’s a ridiculous idea and will only lead to poverty.

As Winston Churchill said,

Unfortunately appeals against this insanity fall on deaf ears no matter how loudly you shout.

You are powerless to avoid the effects on your prosperity. Well, you are if you don’t have any fuck you money.

If you have some fuck you money tucked away, you can forget wasting your time voting, you can simply vote with your feet.

You can use the money to get a one-way plane ticket, a visa, new passport and set up your company or life in a place where the government treat you a little better. Places like Switzerland, Hong Kong or Singapore spring to mind.

If you don’t have any fuck you money you could be stuck in a place where first your pocket will become lighter, and then the extra money you pay in tax will be used to make your life worse through extra bureaucracy and government nonsense.

Believe me, in this situation, you need some fuck you money.

Trying to actually say fuck you to your oppressive government isn’t wise and if you get stuck in a country that pursues economic and political suicide, you’ll be in for a rather rubbish life no matter how hard you work.

So forget about chasing financial dreams. The first part of your financial plan is to ensure you have some fuck you money.

This could be say 6 months to two years expenses tucked away someplace safe where you can access it in time of need.

Officially financial planners would call this having an emergency reserve.

I like to think of my own personal fuck you money as how long I can go and live on some remote tropical beach in a third world country before I begin fretting about my financial survival.

When you think about your finances from this angle, having some fuck you money becomes of upmost importance.